It seems like they never end.
Yesterday I went in to see my oncologist (hence the delayed post) because of some lumpyness in my leg where I had surgery to remove a tumor in 2011. So I sometimes get extra concerned and need to get it checked up on in between checkups.
It is basically impossible to keep track of where all the lumps and bumps are I have found, so I called in Monday, got in yesterday, and was told it is scar tissue. It was the "wrong consistency" to be a lymph node tumor. All great news, but really stressful. Unexpected checkups are the scariest I find. I have had a few now. And they don't extend the time that I need to go back for another checkup. So I end up with an extra one. Not a bad thing, just a stressful process.
I also have a checkup coming up in the next two weeks. Blood work, MRI and visiting with the oncologist again. These check ups I find are slightly less stressful, but I still get concerns every time I go in. So more checkups. And although they are technically only every three months, the tests them selves bring me to the hospital more often, a week early for blood work, two for MRIs. More checkups.
Then, as anyone who has had cancer or taken care of one, this is kind of the standard procedure if you will. I don't live in a hospital anymore, but I certainly do depend on it. It still finds a way to bring concerns I don't want and stress into my life. Checkups can rule your schedule. They are necessary for a long time, I get that and I understand that. I appreciate that checkups are they, but they are stressful. People have told me, each checkup gets easier. I have found the opposite. The more I get through, the further away from treatment I am, and the further my life gets along, the more worried I feel about going back "there".
Checkups are now a part of my life it seems. It will stay that way for awhile and although it adds a lot of stress it is good to hear when things are going well.